


Lonely

by sparkinside



Category: AFI
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2802158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkinside/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friends for years, Adam Carson and Hunter Burgan had faced college, med school, and the real world. But can one night and one impulsive action change everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Adam Carson ran his fingers through his hair. He was exhausted; there was simply no other way to put it. The forty-eight hour shifts he’d handled with ease during his residency were now an almost constant struggle to make through. Even the twenty-four hour rotation he was on now was nearly unbearable. He’d reached his physical limit on coffee, its caffeine barely even registering with his system now. He could probably down two full pots and still be yawning in the pre-op room. Figures, he thought to himself.

He’d made it eighteen hours into his shift so far, and he wasn’t quite sure how he’d made it that far. Sleep had been an elusive thing for him the past week, especially. If he wasn’t patrolling the sixteen bed unit or the OR, he was at home trying to have some attempt at a life. He’d visited with his younger sister who’d flown in from Seattle and made an effort at hanging with a few of his friends from undergrad. He’d managed to squeeze in a few hours of sleep here and there, but barely enough for him to be able to function the way he was now.

This job had been both the bane and joy of his existence. He’d learned so much in the past four years and from some of the best surgeons in his field. This was the job he’d only ever really dreamed of in med school. But at times he didn’t feel like it was nearly enough. The long hours he was forced to keep meant relationships were fleeting at best. No one he’d met had the tolerance for his long hours and hectic schedule for too long. The last meaningful relationship he’d had barely lasted three months. And how it had made it that long surprised him.

Maybe it was his lot to spend life as the eternal bachelor. No one to worry about waking up at two in the morning when his pager went off, no one left waiting for a date that would never show. It would be easier that way, simpler really; but lonelier than Adam cared to dwell on. He’d spent too many months alone. 

“Dr. Carson!” He jumped at the sound of his surname, looking up to find one his residents looking at him expectantly. The resident had only been with the hospital for a year now, but had shown a great deal of promise. For a moment this confused him. “Mrs. Reynolds in room 2467,” the resident continued, looking at Adam as though he’d grown another head. 

_Shit._ “Right, I’ll be right there.” This was bad. He still had six hours to go and if he was falling apart now, badly enough that his coworkers were starting to notice, he was in serious trouble.

Adam had always prided himself on being cool, collected at work. It was the only way he could make it through a shift without losing his mind as well as the respect of his coworkers. He’d rarely had an off day, and the fact that he was now wasn’t helping manners. 

Nodding, Adam followed the resident down the hall, pausing briefly to grab the chart from its rack on the nurse’s station. The hall was relatively quiet, save for the low beeping of the various monitors and machines. He was grateful for the relative calm, knowing it could pass at any moment. This wasn’t the ER were he spent his first years in the hospital, but this was a major metropolitan hospital and the surgical units rarely stayed quiet for long.

 

The rest of his shift passed in a blur of charts, patients and eager interns waiting to prove themselves. By the time he had managed to clock out for the day, Adam could barely keep his eyes open. He was eternally grateful for the fact that he had the next three days off. Maybe he’d actually manage to sleep at some point. He could only hope.

Adam found himself surprised to pull into the driveway of his home, having barely remembered the drive at all. Sleep, he told himself, I desperately need sleep.

He managed to pull his scrub top off before collapsing onto the bed. His head was no where near the pillow but he really couldn’t find it in him to care. He’d deal with the stiff neck later.

A loud pounding sound woke Adam from his sleep. His mind was hazy and it took him a second to place the noise. His front door; someone must be at the door. Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, he pushed himself up from the bed, glancing at the green LCD display of his alarm clock sitting on the side table. Eight forty-five; he’d been asleep for roughly seven and a half hours. Not nearly enough, but it would have to do, especially since it didn’t sound as though his visitor had any intention of walking away anytime soon.

“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m coming!” Adam growled under his breath as he padded slowly do the door. Whoever it was had better have a damned good reason for waking him up. Not bothering to glance through the peep hole once he arrived, Adam yanked open the door. “What?”

The hearty laughter the he received in response startled him briefly, his head shot up, taking in the person standing before him in the dimly lit doorway. “Hunter?”

Hunter grinned, “I see you’re people skills are still lacking.” 

“Fuck off,” Adam shot back, laughing now, standing aside to allow the man to enter. “You do realize I was asleep?” 

“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.”

“Oh ha ha ha,” Adam shot back. He ran his hand through is hair before allowing it to come to rest on the back of his neck. “But really, I’m fine. I’m just exhausted.”

Hunter nodded, “Figured as much.” He settled himself on the couch against the far wall of the living room, looking back at Adam. 

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you Hunt? You always seem to.” 

And that was the truth. Adam had known Hunter for years now, having met him during their sophomore History class. They’d hit it off rather instantaneously, Hunter’s easy-going nature complimenting Adam’s less than flexible one. 

Their friendship had been a trying one; they’d butted heads more than they’d agreed on things over the years. Hunter thought Adam too stubborn and Adam thought him frustratingly passive. But their friendship worked, despite the headaches.

Adam looked at his friend expectantly. Hunter usually had a reason behind his random drop-ins, beyond making sure Adam had made it home in one piece. _Nearly pass out behind the wheel once…_

It hadn’t been one of Adam’s finer moments; he’d known as soon as he’d pulled out of the hospital lot that he shouldn’t have been driving. He’d gotten maybe an hour and a half of sleep during that two-day shift; he’d barely been able to keep his eyes open. But he wanted to get home; figured he could make it. It wasn’t a long drive, fifteen minutes at the most. He’d done it hundreds, no thousands of times before and made it just fine. 

It wasn’t until Adam found himself nearly in a ditch two miles from his home, not quite sure how he’d gotten there, that the biting edge of panic sunk in. He’d dialed Hunter’s number without really thinking about what he was doing. 

Hunter had been there ten minutes later, worry lining his brow, his normally calm demeanor gone. The riot act his friend had read him had sent Adam for a loop. That was usually his go to response to the things and situations Hunter had found himself in. Seeing their reactions in reverse was strange, but at the same time, touching. 

Pushing himself from the couch, Hunter made his way towards the darkened kitchen. He returned a few moments later, two chilled, brown bottles in hand. Adam smirked, “Why yes, Hunt, you can have a beer. Thanks for asking.”

“Fuck off, Carson.” Chuckling, Hunter took a long swig from his bottle. 

 

Two hours and countless beers later, Adam was feeling no pain. His exhaustion temporarily relieved. A lazy smile spread across his face; he had desperately needed to relax, needed a night with no expectations, no demands. _Thank God for Hunter…And for beer._

“This is nice,” he mumbled, leaning his head back against the couch. Hunter grunted in agreement. Adam blinked, attempting to clear his cloudy vision; clearly he’d had a few too many. The thought forced a laugh from his throat and he caught Hunter’s head cocking to the side in confusion.

“Care to share with the class?”

“I’m drunk.”

Hunter laughed, “No kidding. You really need to build up your tolerance, Carson. This is pretty pitiful.”

“Fuck off.” Adam hadn’t drunk much in a while, save the occasional beer with friends. Drinking had never been terribly high on his list of priorities and save for spending time with Hunter; he rarely consumed more than a bottle or two. And he had far surpassed that amount tonight.

If he hadn’t seen Hunter knocking back bottle after bottle, he’d never think his friend was intoxicated at all. _Lucky bastard._ The easy smile that crossed Hunter’s face pulled a similar one to Adam’s. 

Hunter’s eyes were really blue, Adam noticed, finding himself entranced by them. They were bright and alive yet surprisingly deep and elusive. He’d never noticed that before and something in him wondered if it was odd that he had noticed that. Who notices the depth of their friend’s eyes?

“You alright there?” Adam jumped, unable to stop the reaction the sudden intrusion of sound evoked. God what was wrong with him? He composed himself enough to nod his head before taking another long pull from the bottle in his hand. 

The curve of Hunter’s bottom lip caught his attention next. It was slightly fuller than its top counterpart. Not enough to be something noticed at a quick glance, but something you would notice if you looked close enough. They were inviting and briefly Adam wondered if they would feel soft against his; or if Hunter would object if he were to find out for himself.

Panic suddenly rushed through him. This wasn’t normal. Friends didn’t think such things about their friends. Sweat began to bead on his forehead and a shiver ran down his spine. _God what is wrong with me?_

“Adam? Dude, you’re kind of scaring me,” Hunter’s eyes were wide now and uneasy. “Are you alright?”

He didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly say? _“Yeah, I just really want to know what it’s like to kiss you and its scaring the shit out of me.”_ That would go over real well. So Adam went for silence instead. He needed to clear his head; needed to drink more. He needed to do something, anything to keep himself away from the current train of thought. 

“Adam?” Hunter’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and Adam jumped, bolting off of the couch as if he’d been burned. A single touch shouldn’t feel so damned good; especially one from Hunter. This was his best friend for all intents and purposes. His drinking buddy and occasional confident, his wingman; this was not supposed to happen. 

“I…I need some air,” he managed to choke out before making a mad dash towards the back porch. Slamming the glass door behind him, Adam sank onto the stairs leading to the small backyard. He took a large gulp of cool air, praying it would clear his head. It needed to clear his head; he couldn’t go back inside like this. There was no way.

Adam heard the soft click of the glass door followed moments later by the warm hand on his shoulder. “Adam?”

There it was again; the jolt, the longing that he should not feel. This was dangerous and it honestly scared the fuck out of him. Hunter’s face was soon level with his own and Adam could feel the warmth of his breath against his cheek. _Jesus._ Why did he have to be so close? Couldn’t he see what this was doing to him?

Adam closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut. He tried in vain to clear the thoughts running through his head; to silence the urges demanding that he close the distance between them and take what his cloudy mind wanted. No, not wanted; needed. It would be so easy. 

Hunter shifted beside him, causing Adam to turn his head involuntarily, finding himself nose to nose with his friend; the warmth of his breath mixed with the hint of alcohol filled his senses. He leaned in; reason no longer registering in his mind. He needed this. Their lips brushed together softly, the heady sensation rushing through him. _More._ He crushed his lips against Hunter’s, moaning at the contact. This was heaven; perfect. He was lost in this and there wasn’t a thing in the world that could drag him away. Not now.

It was then that the stillness from his friend registered. Hunter was stiff as a board, muscles rigid. Fuck. Snapping backwards, Adam’s eyes widened. _Fuck, fuck fuck._ He shoved himself up from the porch and simply fled. Panic was the only thing that registered in his mind. Pure, blind panic. 

Hunter would hate him. He’d never be able to look him in the eye again. He’d never be able to fix this. Fuck, indeed.


End file.
